There are garment shops all over,
and most (I assume, because that's what
the book said) owned by Jews.
Stands, colorful fabrics, busy main Avenues.
A little farther, well mixed
into the crowd of musty looking stores,
the kosher restaurants.
I suppose I'm slightly disappointed,
but, I haven't tried all the food yet.
If anything, I'm surprised at
the silliness of how I look in the window:
silly big shorts, light blue t-shirt,
sandals and a Panama hat.
The passages of a tourist.
On some streets, it's as if
I'm in New York, where
you walk and suddenly,
the section, the barrio, which looks normal
except for a few things.
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1 comment:
Again, I think chuck the first two lines, and also revisit the second instance of the word "stands" -- you say it twice. If you really like the first line it can be moved elsewhere. Also, I'd rethink the word "Modern", as it's a bit ambiguous in today's varried stance of what it means for a city or street to be modern. Also, watch for tense changes (see vs. saw) I'd like to hear and see more overall, but I like the tone a lot! Great start!
There are garment shops all over,
and most (I assume, because that's what the book said) owned by Jews.
Stands, colorful fabrics,
busy main Avenues. Up
a little farther, or well mixed
into the crowd of musty looking stores, are kosher restaurants
I suppose I'm slightly disappointed,but, I haven't tried all the food yet. If anything, I'm surprised at the silliness
of how I look when I see myself in the window:silly big shorts, light blue t-shirt,sandals and a Panama hat.Though it's still like I'm in New York where you walk and suddenly come upon the section, the barrio, which is normal except for a few things.
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