The slow closing of
(a breath in: warm
surroundings:
two arms are lovely
simple, browned a bit
by hair and sun, they
collect everything: spring weather
the gathering of clouds
my elbows & hands that shudder
like oak leaves,
close and warm as
the horizontal lines of a forehead)
my tired eyes at night.
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1 comment:
I like the concept of the paranthesis, but now where the first is placed - very disruptive. Imagery is lovely, but perhaps choose the strongest stuff. If this is the passing of the moment, choosing the fewer poignant words is key. nice job!
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