tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7853363457205628393.post318447637489508100..comments2010-07-09T11:43:05.247-07:00Comments on Plain American Language: Folds (revised a tiny bit)Reading the Districthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635072700180534927noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7853363457205628393.post-2389939376519313852007-10-06T22:08:00.000-07:002007-10-06T22:08:00.000-07:00whoa, i somehow deleted the intro to that comment....whoa, i somehow deleted the intro to that comment. WHat it preempted with is that I love the tone of this. I find a lot of the language tentalizing and vivid. I thought the structure worked against it. I would make some cuts and keep the most poignant images, and then work outward, but very nice! kudos.Olgasmichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13509449127579670928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7853363457205628393.post-34978787545288939742007-10-06T22:05:00.000-07:002007-10-06T22:05:00.000-07:00It's the folds in your lips(not in an ugly way,I a...It's the folds in your lips<BR/>(not in an ugly way,<BR/>I am staring)<BR/>smile<BR/>collapse,<BR/>speak-spread<BR/>crease<BR/>like petals<BR/>inward.<BR/><BR/>or how socks fold<BR/>limply curving midair<BR/>in a day's routine.<BR/>Then come <BR/>from the wash<BR/>dry<BR/>& new, & ready.<BR/><BR/><BR/>*this may be just me. Though your iamgery is so vivid, I'd love to see it breathe (and maybe in a way totally different than the gibberish above) without extra words.<BR/><BR/>Very nice!Olgasmichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13509449127579670928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7853363457205628393.post-1705245934325891562007-10-06T22:03:00.000-07:002007-10-06T22:03:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Olgasmichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13509449127579670928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7853363457205628393.post-26089571115166144242007-10-04T10:52:00.000-07:002007-10-04T10:52:00.000-07:00I really liked this poem, Andrew! You have a mind ...I really liked this poem, Andrew! You have a mind for metaphor!...and Enidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04449087288715306947noreply@blogger.com